[JOHN, middle-aged, sits on a living room chair, his face in a laptop. MARSHA, also middle-aged, sits curled up the couch with a good book. It’s evening, their son has just been put to bed. There’s a baby monitor on a table between them.]
[After a beat, Marsha looks up, to John.]
MARSHA: It was the cutest thing today, I forgot to tell you. When I picked up Timmy today from Preschool the whole class was finger painting, ya know…?
MARSHA: Just making a mess.
JOHN: Yeah, I bet.
MARSHA: Anyway, when I got there, Timmy had this big blue paint streak down his face. He looked like… ya know that movie, I can’t think of it right now… in Scotland…
JOHN: What movie?
MARSHA: In Scotland, with the swords…
MARSHA: Uh… what’s his name…
JOHN: He looked like Highlander?
MARSHA: No, no, you know--
MARSHA: No! not Highlander. The other Scottish movie… uh…
JOHN: Oh, I know… Shrek.
MARSHA: No, no…
JOHN: No, no, that’s not what I meant… Shakespeare right?
JOHN: Henry 5.
MARSHA: Is that Scottish? Come on.
JOHN: Oh I know, I know, I know…
MARSHA: Yeah, with a…
MARSHA: What? No, with, Mel Gibson!
JOHN: Mel Gibson?
MARSHA: That’s it.
JOHN: He looked like Mel Gibson?
MARSHA: Yeah in the movie with the Scottish movie with the blue face paint! Battling on the, uh, moors…
JOHN: Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson…
MARSHA: Don’t tell me you don’t remember Mel Gibson.
MARSHA: Ya know, uh, he was the crazy guy in that one and it had all the gunfights…
JOHN: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah…
MARSHA: Ya know…
JOHN: Dirty Harry.
MARSHA: No, no.
JOHN: Frantic! Frantic, Frantic…
MARSHA: No, no, you’re thinkin’ the other guy…
JOHN: In the Line of Fire?
MARSHA: No, no, no…
JOHN: That had a crazy guy with gunfights.
MARSHA: Wrong crazy guy, the other guy…
JOHN: Die Hard!
MARSHA: No, not that guy, that guy’s from uh…
JOHN: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s the guy from uh…
MARSHA: All the Die Hard movies and…
MARSHA: Yeah! No! But-- Yeah, yeah, yeah! That’s the guy I’m talking about.
JOHN: Bruce Willis!
MARSHA: No, no, no… Mel Gibson!
JOHN: Here, this is ridiculous, I have the Internet right here I’ll just imdb Mel Gibson.
MARSHA: Ok, good idea. God that was a good movie.
JOHN: Die Hard?
MARSHA: No, Signs.
JOHN: Here we go Internet Movie Data Base… Look up, Mel Gib… that’s weird.
JOHN: Hmm. I lost the connection. I’m getting no signal.
MARSHA: Maybe it’s the aliens.
JOHN: Now… (stern look) you know I don’t like that.
MARSHA: Big imagination… just kidding. Try your iphone.
JOHN: All right. (reaches into pocket for iphone) So what was the other one I was thinking with Bruce Willis, that was like Signs.
MARSHA: I don’t know.
JOHN: The one with the kid who can see the ghosts?
JOHN: “I see dead people.”
MARSHA: Yeah, yeah, I know… Ghost.
JOHN: Ghosts, yeah…
MARSHA: No, I mean that’s the title. Ghost.
JOHN: What? No.
MARSHA: No, I know, Evil Dead!
MARSHA: No, I know, The Haunting!
JOHN: No, no, no…
MARSHA: I know I know Highlander!
JOHN: Knock it off.
MARSHA: I know I was just kidding. But we’re thinking about my movie now, not your movie. Anything yet?
JOHN: Once I remember my movie, I’ll think about your movie. No nothing.
MARSHA: I know which one your talking about I just can’t remember the name. The movie I’m talking about you don’t even know what I’m talking about.
JOHN: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
MARSHA: Well that’s why we got the iphone, what’s wrong with that thing.
JOHN: The Sixth Sense!
MARSHA: No! That’s--
JOHN: No, that’s the one I was talking about, with the kid who can see ghosts.
MARSHA: Oh good, so it’s working, now look up my Mel Gibson movie.
JOHN: No it’s not working, no signal at all, I just remembered that one with my own brain.
MARSHA: Well, what’s going on?
JOHN: Whoopi Goldberg.
JOHN: Whoopi Goldberg was in the other one, who can see ghosts…
JOHN: No ghosts, GhostS. Plural.
MARSHA: No that’s what it was called, the title, Ghost.
JOHN: Oh. Yeah. That’s right.
MARSHA: Okay, so, here we are with Mel Gibson with the paint on his face with the Broadsword.
JOHN: Lethal Weapon!
JOHN: No, that’s the one with the crazy guy and the gunfights.
MARSHA: Oh. Yeah. So it’s working?
MARSHA: Well what’re we gonna do? Look, you saw this movie with me.
JOHN: I did?
MARSHA: Didn’t you?
JOHN: I don’t think I did because I have no idea what you’re talking about.
MARSHA: It won the fricken Academy Award!
JOHN: It did?
MARSHA: Yes! Battles, blood, he has the speech ya know “blah, blah, but they can never take away our dignity!” Something like that!
JOHN: Clint Eastwood!
JOHN: He was in Dirty Harry. That’s the other guy I was thinking about. Go ahead…
MARSHA: Forget it. I’m going to the computer, the DSL. I gotta find this out or I’m getting a divorce. Your brain seems to conveniently remember every movie but the one I need to know. It’s highly suspicious if you ask me. (stops) Ah, shoot.
[The lights start to fade… flicker… pulse…]
MARSHA: I can’t go upstairs. I’ll wake up uh...
MARSHA: Our child, the boy, uh…
JOHN: Oh yeah, upstairs, in bed, yeah, uh… what’s his name, my son… um… what’s happening to me?
MARSHA: Tommy! No, no… oh god.
JOHN: Bobby? Nooooo!
MARSHA: You know, you know, shoot… look it up hurry!
JOHN: I can’t! I can see his face… but I uh…
MARSHA: With the blue streak of paint across his uh… Oh shit. It’s the aliens.
JOHN: What? Don’t. Stop it. No.
MARSHA: Oh god I… find some uh pictures or a…
JOHN: Oh yeah, the thingy on the thing, a what…?
JOHN: Something with his name.
MARSHA: For god’s sake! Check the computer!
JOHN: It doesn’t… I c… I c… I can’t remember…
MARSHA: We can… um… What?
JOHN: Nothing I was just uh… Yeah we can…
MARSHA: Look up…
MARSHA: Yeah… To find!
JOHN: Yeah! To find the thing that…
MARSHA: Yeah that thing that we… Left…
MARSHA: That we didn’t…
JOHN: Find out…
[The lights are almost out… They hold each other.]
JOHN and MARSHA: [screaming] Braveheart!
[Lights up full. John and Marsha cry with happiness, heavy breathing, laughing and smiling until…
We hear a crying from the baby monitor, they hold their breath and… turn to look at it.
END OF PLAY
Copyright © 2010 by Nick Zagone
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